hardworking mothers

Inspiration of a hard working successful mother:
J.K. Rowling, author of the best-selling Harry Potter book series, delivers her Commencement Address, “The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination,” at the Annual Meeting of the Harvard Alumni Association.
Listen or read here speech here

I found that link here at this blog about another hardworking mother who writes from Australia.

super woman supermum

I wish I was able to write well, elegantly, even eloquently, without spelling errors and more than anything to tell my story in a short easy entertaining way. Well it probably ain't going to happen any time soon, so I will stick with the way I know, and hopefully one day if i have time I can do a creative writing class. Something I was thinking about doing.
Anyway instead of writing well, I am trying to be a better mother everyday and trying to do paleontology but that is not working out too well being a mother and all, looking after a growing 13 month old, nearly 14 month old.
It is very hard, maybe I am not as passionate. I do like paleontology and looking at bones and teeth and learning something new everyday but I have no one really to help me look after Joaquin when I am at uni.
I did take him to family day care but after last week I am taking him out of there.
I do have a friend that comes over on Friday to help but somehow I stay at home with her and hang out instead of going to the uni or sitting on the computer to do work. I am hopeless. But I love my little son who is walking now, more than 10 steps at a time. He is growing up, and I know he would be proud to know I did paleontology while looking after him.
But It is so hard.
Like Alicia Keys sings so beautifully in her song I am a superwoman

Just a bit of venting here when I should be in bed waiting for the little man to wake up and in the arms of my Jas.

Saturday night

Last night was quite good out. We went to the pub with a few friends for another friend's party. Joaquin had a ball, he flirted with women and even got to play the pokies. Not not really! However he did hang out with my friends, and was very smitten with a particular lady who we all just met: N boyfirend's flatmate. She was playing with him on the lounge and talking to him and he just talked and hugged her and forgot about his parents "Mama and Da Da".
He was walking around a lot, thankfully instead of crawling on the dirty pub carpet. He really wanted to walk to the poker machine room, even though children are not allowed inside. I wonder WHY?, bright lights from the poker games may attack children to want to play and live the rest of their life gambling in a smoke-free alcohol ridden establishment. RRRrrrrRR isn't that want pubs want? Future gamblers, future drinkers.

We had dinner at the pub. Joaquin had fish and chips, from Jas's plate. I on the other hand tried to go a bit fancy and ordered noqui with pesto, olives and chicken and realised "Never order anything that is not pub food at a pub, no noqui, no pasta, no fancy shmancy, just chips, fish, burgers, steaks. When in Rome do as the Romans. I keep forgetting that. I do.
Well Joaquin was very sociable with everyone and had rosy cheeks and a smile on his face most of the night. My friend latter confessed to me that my son "is a credit to me and my partner, as he is confident and sociable and really happy little boy". Ahaa that is nice, makes me feel good in the tummy... nice.
I hope he is happy, I hope we are good parents. Are we good parents taking our little boy to the pub on a saturday night where there are drinks and pokies and drunk people swearing and screaming? I do not know. No se. I honestly do not know.
We stayed at the pub till 9pm and at 9 Jas volunteered to take Joaquin home and get him ready for bed. He is a great dad and I on the other hand stayed at the pub and drank a gin and tonic and tried to enjoy myself sans family.
I did have fun reminiscing with my friend about our youth but I did secretly yearn to be at home with my two favourite boys, snuggled in bed. In the end I got a lift home with a friend and was at home by 12. Not a late night but it was good to get out. Joaquin was already sleeping and Jas was up watching a movie hanging out with his Iphone. He does not need me now, he has his beautiful black Iphone.

at home on saturday

Today was a beautiful winters day, the sky was gorgeous blue and the sun out but a cool southern wind was blowing bringing icy cold air from the southern oceans.
I have been sensitive lately, and upset about little things. I try to keep the house clean, look after my son, I am trying to run and get fit and trying to do some paleontolgy.
I have so many things to do but in the end the pile just keeps growing just as the laundry. I even have began to iron Joaquin's clothes, and Jas mocks me saying that he "does not want me to be a domestic goddess". I do not know why I have started to iron, I guess I do not want to see my baby in wrinkly clothes nor for that matter do I want to see any family members in wrinkly clothes, but if someone has to take it for the team I guess I will stay in wrinkly un-ironed clothes and my two boys can be wrinkle free.

How do mothers do everything? How do they keep their clothes wrinkle free is a mystery to me. I should research this but then I would probably spend hours in front of the computer looking for blogs about ironing and women.

Anyway today was a great day. We started the day with scrambled eggs on toast made by J. S. A and Joaquin seemed to enjoy his. I do have to spread it on his toast so he mistakes it for vegemite, but I also was able to give him some in a spoon. He loves eating and watching morning tv JJJ (the music video show with the doctor) listening to music and dancing along in his high chair. He loves music.
After breakfast I managed to get an appointment with a hairdresser for Jas. Yes he was gay but his salon was around the corner and like I told Jas, "I would rather have my hair cut with a gay man than a woman", gay men have so much more style.
While he was having his locks treated, I stayed at home cleaning and trying to get over our little fight over putting clothes away. I asked Jas to put his clothes away and he said something to the extent "that I am bossy woman and why should he do as I say". Anyway after I threw all his clothes around the house in my hysterical fashion I calmed down and he was able to put his shoes on and go to the hairdresser, while i stayed sitting on the lounge feeling sorry for myself.
I was then able to get out of this ridiculous state and clean up and get ready to go outside with Joaquin, who was just playing on the ground unaware of our fights, well not really I am sure he knows when we fight and get upset.
In the end I texted him and we met up and I said sorry and asked him to also apologise for not listening to me or doing what I ordered. I just want a clean house, a clean bedroom that is my reason for being a cranky old fart.

After we said our sorrys we went for a walk up the road as I had to buy a friend a birthday present. Jas actually looks younger with his hair cut, clean cut and nerdish.
On our walk, while taking about how bad a person i am, and how Jason's hair looks Joaquin managed to get so bored with our conversation that he fell asleep and slept in his pram and we then managed to get to a cafe (Bellagio Cafe) and had lunch. Joaquin woke up and started to eat all my pumpkin salad even scoffing down some of the baby spinach. We ended up buying him a chicken and cheese sandwich on turkish and it was really good. I told Jas "this sandwich is way better than a subways one. The truth is, there is no comparison. Bellagio vs Subway, go with the one with the wanky name!
We are so pleased Joaquin is eating well now, I am so pleased more than anything, I think it is the Jewish mama coming out in me and I just want my son to eat and eat and eat!

We had a lazy afternoon walking home in the wind. At home Jas played with his Iphone and like Dooce says in her blog:
"Interestingly, I have received a dozen or so emails from male readers of this site that said something to the tune of yes, sex is good, but it doesn't come close to the iPhone. And then the signature of the email would say SENT FROM MY IPHONE 3G. Ladies, I think I just stumbled across our salvation".
I think Jas likes his Iphone more than me at the moment, he plays with it in bed and then when he turns off the light then he hugs me.

At 4.30pm a friend came over with the excuse to use my toilet as she was in the area. She played with Joaquin and I was just about to put him down for a sleep, he became super excited and then I handed him to Jas and said "Byee! I am going for a coffee with my friend can you put him down for a sleep?" See I am a bad mother. The truth is I felt a bit liberated being out without my little one, sometimes it is good, sometimes it feels as all my legs and arms and organs are missing when he is not there. In the end Jas told me how hard it was to put him down as he just wanted to play and then when J took his toys away from his cot he cried and roared like a lion until he fell asleep. He is going through a faze, fighting any time he has to sleep in the afternoon. As he is more mobile, he is walking and I think may be thinking " I can walk now, why should I sleep like all the other babies during the day? Let me play Mama and Da Da, I do not want to sleep!"
I may have to start to put him down for a sleep a bit earlier say 4pm and not 4.30-5.00. He is overtired by then and just does not want to sleep, he wants to play and smile and talk in his cot. We have to hold him down as he want to get up and stand up in his cot and sleep. I read in the baby bible that at 13 months they do need a few hours of sleep through the day and the best option if they are not wanting to sleep is to get them obviously in a routine, wine them down before they go to sleep such as reading a story in a darkened room, and then put them down at the same time every day and if they want to play then simply just take away their toys and let them cry. Well Jas did that and he slept over an hour in the afternoon and we were able to get ready to go down to the pub for my friend's party.

pjs in Sydney

This is Joaquin in Sydney in his pjs, they are getting small on him. He loves to play on the ground and always has something to do. He is starting to walk well but keeps his arms up while he walks for balance.

Joaquin is 13 months and a half

Today we had a wonderful day, Joaquin and I. He is feeling much better and is a happy happy boy. I had breakfast some porridge at 8am and he woke up at 9.30. A friend had called and wanted to have some breakfast at the beach. She came over and we finished dressing him and I gave him a bottle and we went down to Coogee Beach and went to Globe cafe. He was so happy to leave the house, with a big smile on his face and he was quite content to be with my friend E, at first a little clingy to me calling me Ma-ma and wanting to come to me. Then he warmed to E, which is a good sign he is feeling better.
At the cafe we both had a delicious Halomi stack (toast with poached eggs, spinach, halomi and some pesto) it was really really nice. I do not think I could make it as nice and Joaquin had some Vegemite toast. He ate most of it.


Then we went for a little walk and I walked down to his music class which is only a block away from the cafe. It was drizzling by then so we all got a little wet, and once inside the class I took of his bomber jacket and put on a hoodie.
He liked the music class, he sang, and clapped his hands, and looked at the babies, he played with the drums and shakers. He banged on the drums with the shakers and I really do think he knows what Jules the teacher is doing and tries to do some of the same things but gets carried away with all the activity around him. Other mothers and babies from my mother's group were there so it is nice.

After music class a few of the mums went to another mums house for lunch. I had brought along lunch, left over meat curry with beans and rice. He was happy to play and he ate most of his lunch while playing with the two other babies and trying to open cupboards in the kitchen.
He did not have his morning sleep so we left at around 2pm and on the way home in the pram he fell asleep. When I got home I tried to get him out of the pram without him waking to walk down the stairs but he awoke and I knew he would not go back to bed. So i tried but he did not want to go back to sleep, so we played and I started to cook for dinner. I made a chuck steak and eggplant beef stew in the crock pot. I then gave him a bottle and put him in his cot, he did not seem too tired but I knew he was and a few minutes later he was asleep. He slept from 4 to 6 and by the time he awoke Jas was home but we decided not to go running.

bath time

Joaquin loves having a bath. we still bath him in the baby bath and he just plays and splashes. He loves to play with the bath hose, and Jas blows into it making a lot of noise and bubbles.
He also loves to get into the shower and play with the door of the shower, trying to open and close it.

Sunday in Scone

Today we stayed and played at Jas parents place.
Joaquin's cousins came over to visit and we also went to visit his other cousins.
They all live here in this small town in the Upper Hunter.
He really likes L and when she came over there was a lot of hugging going on so I manged to take some photos. Very cute indeed.



His other older girl cousin Lily, also is a bit smitten over Joaquin. We went to visit them and she pushed him around in their toy electric car and kept saying "It;s flat" as it did not have a battery.
At four pm we left and gave Joaquin a sleep and got ready to pack to go drive back home. We bathed Joaquin when he woke up and stayed for dinner. After dinner we left it was about 7pm and I was a bit anxious in getting home so late. But Jas is good at driving at night, I just think of all the kangaroos out there ready to jump on the road.
Just before 8pm we stopped at Freeman's waterhole for petrol and there was a trucked parked along side and I knew there were cattle in there. I saw a few little noses try to poke out from above the side of the truck. Immediately my heart sank for them and I feel so guilty eating beef. Joaquin was tired by then so i gave him a bottle while Jas paid for the petrol. He was whingeing and crying and the cattle seemed to be listening to him as they stopped stamping their feet in the truck. Joaquin slept from 8 onwards. I vowed not to eat beef again after seeing the cattle truck, I think it was filled with young male cattle. We finally arrived home at 10.30pm and were all very tired and I breastfed Joaquin and then he went straight to sleep.

Saturday in Scone

We drove up last night to visit Jas parents in the Upper Hunter. Joaquin was very good on the drive up and he slept more that half way. He watched some Wiggles on my phone that Jas had put on there. We had dinner made by Jas's parents when we arrived and that was good after the long trip.

Saturday morning was good. Joaquin slept most of the night without waking and had a good breakfast. I think Joaquin is starting to feel much better. Today he played outside with Ozzie the cat while Jas cleaned his car. He went to see the horses with his pop and played on the swings with his pop. He ate well for the first time in over 2 weeks.
He looks a bit thin in these photos but he was very happy to get out of our house and go for a drive.





We had a family dinner Saturday night and all his cousins came over and played. Joaquin loves all of them. There was a lot of playing and Jas really gets into it, playing hide and seek. He took Joaquin with him in his arms as he was hiding and seeking and told me later how much Joaquin liked it.

Things Joaquin likes to do at 12 months

Things that Joaquin likes to do
He likes to play with the computer mouse.
He loves to put the keys in the lock and started to try to do this at 8 months after seeing us open the door with keys. He loves to play with keys.
He loves playing with dad and putting little toys in dad's mouth so then Jas spits them out.
He loves playing in the shower.
He loves his bath and playing with the plastic shower head.
He plays with the animal magnets on the fridge.
He loves the book "There is a possum in the house" and turns the pages always turning the page so he can examine the front of the book.

He likes walking with the firetruck


He loves being held while watching one of us cook in the kitchen, and watches intensely as each activity is undertaken when cooking
He likes putting his hands in glasses with water
He loves the broom, and crawls really fast to the kitchen when he hears one of us sweeping
He loves pressing buttons
He loves playing with the phone
He likes to play with cars

He likes to put things through holes
He loves playing with objects that have cords on them
He tries to operate the microwave
He loves to watch music videos and sits there to watch it
He likes music a lot
He likes to watch Dougie in Disguise, Play school, Booh Bah, Wiggles and learn (from The Wiggles)
He loves trying to take my glasses off and tries to put them back on
He waves a lot
He waves when it is time to go to sleep
He laughs at silly noises

Joaquin is sick

Today we have stayed at home and Joaquin did not go to family day care nor I to the uni. Instead I stayed with him and took him to the doctors as he is sick. He has a rash on his legs, arms, and a few dots on his ears and other parts of his body. He has not been eating well and does not want to bf at all which makes me feel slightly bad. The doctor that saw him was the same one that saw him when he was born from around the corner. She did not recognise him but did say something along the lines of "Time has gone quickly".
The doctor looked at his mouth, his ears, listened to his heart, took his temperature, looked at his dots or rash and said he was just sick because of a virus. He did not have a temperature just a bit red at the back of his throat. I think he has some small sores or ulcers on his tongue as he does not want to eat or suck his bottle or bf.
Yesterday i managed to feed him some cereal for breakfast, a few bottles of milk, a piece of cheese, a yoghurt, 2 bites from a bread stick, some chicken soup with bread croutons and some more bottles of milk plus water.
He was acting happier though and wanted to play all day, he did not cry much nor get upset when i left the room. He smiled at strangers at the doctor's and smiled a lot at me. He came up to me throughout the day during his play to hug me.
He woke up a few times last night and each time I wanted to bf he got upset, Jas was able to calm him and get him back to sleep in his cot. I think he woke up 3 or 4 times throughout the night crying, poor little thing.
He had two sleeps about an hour each sleep but did not bf. I hope he gets better. I am not feeling too crash hot as well and feel I have ulcers on my tongue too. Must be all the bad food from all the parties we have had and been going too.
I do not think it helped that I gave him hot "salty" chips last Friday and some of B's chocolate brownie.

Saturday at home

I made a spinach and cheese pie with fetta cheese and brown rice. Joaquin had a slice of the pie and ate it with gusto as well as a mandarine.
He loves mandarines. He is not feeling himself and had a bit of fever. All the babies from my mother's group are a little sick.
We went shopping today, he went with his dad in the shopping trolley and cried when I went away. I bought some boots and then carried him around Westfield shopping center at Bondi Junction. I wanted to buy him some shoes and he has no shoes with soft soles to walk or practice getting around in. But in the end we had been at the shops for 2 hours and Joaquin had a bit of a fever, he had a warm forehead so we drove home. I gave a bread stick (grissini) in the car and sat with him the back seat, scared he would choke. He was ok and enjoyed nibbling on it with his front teeth. When he got to the end bit I took it from him and ate it, as I did not want him to stuff it in his mouth.
When we got home, Jas bathed him and I got the onions and tomatos ready to make a pizza.
Jas made pizza with his new pizza stone and it was quite delicious. Joaquin had a whole slice but I cut it up in small bite size pieces. We gave him baby panadol for his fever, he had 38 degrees C. He went to bed at 8.30pm and we stayed up watching futureama and big brother.

Friday mother's group

Joaquin was clingy all day, muy mimosa. I went to B's house for mother's group and he cried every time i got out of his site, or even moved around the room. He was grabbing me and wanting me to be close all the time. In the end he started playing with the other babies as long as I was close. He did not want to eat much.
We then walked to the spot with some other mothers and B lent me her pram so I could take J in the pram. My leg is better so I was able to walk with a bit of mild pain. We went to the Ambrosio shop on the corner at the spot and all ordered Portugese chicken burgers, I ordered J some hot chips. We sat outside and I gave him some hot chips. The other mums gave their children some too but i got the impression that most of the mum's do not give their bubs hot chips or junk food. fair enough. I gave him some of my brownie that B made at her house. It was really scrumpcious and warm straight out of the oven.
He was very quite and not his usual self. Then we walked down to B's house and she drove me home, she is so nice and kind.
At home I put him down and gave him a bot and he drank most of it, i tried to feed him a cheese and avacado sandwich and some stewed apple and he did not eat much. He had his bottle and slept till after 5pm. Jas came home early.

Out and about with Joaquin

We went to little Dynamos today with some of the mother's and babies from the mother's group. It is an indoor play center and cafe for kids and parents, it cost $10 for the children over 1 and parents $2. It has a safe soft play area for under 4s and a cafe close by for having a coffee or sitting around watching the older children play on the play structures.
He played on the soft under 4's section and crawled around. he liked the soft play area, played in the small pool with balls, and he loved sitting there and throwing out the balls. However he was very clingy all day and cried when I went to order lunch and left him on the high chair with B and J and their bubs.
He did have a great time apart from him crying. He even went on the slippery dip with A's friend Cynthia who works at UNSW. My leg was still sore so I did not even dare go on the slide.
I got a lift with B and he fell asleep in the car around UNSW so when we got home he was asleep but woke up when I got him out of the car. The lady who helps clean the house fortnightly was there and I told her to clean the kitchen and bathroom while I put him down. He was very tired it was already 2pm and he had woken at 9.30am.
He slept for a while for over an hour but the cleaner made some noise in the bathroom and that woke him up. I got him back down but he woke up some time later. I think he is still out of sorts due to leaving him at family day care!!!

Music class with Joaquin

My leg is still not better and J did not work from home today so after breaky and getting ready B from mother's group kindly came around and picked me up for music class at Coogee.
There were not many mums but A came with Sienna to have a look at the class. Joaquin seems interested in the music, he plays with the shakers and knows how to shake in time to the beat on the floor and in the air. He enjoys it and Loves Jules the teacher. He sits close to her and tries to strum her guitar. Jules got out a frog puppet and sang Galump went the little green frog, and the babies sat close to her and listened trying to touch the little green puppet. She also had a sheep puppet that makes musical notes when you open and close his mouth and she sang ba ba black sheep with his mouth. it was pretty cool. some of the babies are just not interested and just want to crawl around. Joaquin loves the drums and plays to the beat and crawls around playing on other babies drums. He went up to the other parents and says hello and plays with them. He is very sociable. We went to T's house for lunch and T made Joaquin a toasted cheese sandwich, and he ate most of it. She has a nice apartment in front of the beach with a nice view of coogee. I then met up with E and had coffee at the cafe Bazura at the beach on the south side. I then walked with J and the stroller to the park at south coogee and met B. We played with the babies and then she drove me home. She is so kind and helpful. I feel bad I can not walk around with my sore leg and back. Can not wait till it gets better.

yum cha with friends

Today we had a great day, we went out to the city for yum cha The Regal with my uni friends to celebrate K. R finishing her thesis. yeahh!!!. Kirsten was there with her little boy who is nearly 2 Miles and her partner. The food at the Regal was great as usual, i loved the fried whitebait, the scallop dumplings, the custard buns. I gave Joaquin some whitebait but he nearly choked. He did not eat much just some of a sandwich I had made for him with cheese. After stuffing our faces we walked around the city towards the Spanish Quarter. The Spanish quarter is on Liverpool street, with some excellent Spanish Restaurants as well as the Spanish Club and Torres Spanish deli. we went past the spanish deli , and to our surprise they sell Matambre made in Sydney I think. We bought 200grams and a jar dulce de leche made in Australia.
Then we all went to the QVB to have some cafe and I ordered banana bread and a babycinno for Joaquin and he drank it all and enjoyed it as well as the banana bread. He loved playing with Jas and Kenny and hanging out with my uni friends. He is a good little boy and allows us to go out and enjoy ourself with other adults.
After that the girls walked around the QVB to look at the shops and Jas and Joaquin and Rob went to Dymocks to check out the books. Jas and Joaquin played in the disney section of the book store and there was a Thomas the tank engine train to play on. Jas said Joaquin loved playing with the older 3 year old girls. I bought a book for the party tomorrow for the babies from mother's group.

Mother's group at my place

We had mother's group at my place today. The babies had fun playing with the balloons from J's party and all his toys. I had some banana muffin I had made yesterday and handed it around. The mums and babies stayed until 1pm and then both J and I were both exhausted. I put him down for a little sleep. I think he enjoyed having his friends over. He played with the boys and also played by himself with the computer mouse

Feliz cumple con fotos

Birthday cards


Cake made by Kenny's dad from Paris Cake shop


Ready to blow out candles at Centennial park on his birthday


Empanadas made by Jason and Yamila for his birthday



At party for all bubs from mother's group

Feliz Cumple Joaquin Happy Birthday Joaquin

This is the birthday invitation I have sent out to my friends and some mothers and babies from mother's group.
It is dinosaur theme but who cares, I love it. I used pass the chex font, you can download it from here

I got the idea from Lucas first birthday from here



Here are some other ideas
Mandnickell
Minti
We make three

my little munch munch

I just put Joaquin down for a sleep, he had breast milk even though he secretly just wanted the milk bottle (we use glass now due to the dangers of using plastic that heats up). He loves a good bottle of milk, but he does like to breast feed as well at night I think. I am not sure if I have any milk left, maybe.
I have been eating Turkish delights with rose water, they are spectacular blocks of sweet pink softness and just leave a mixture of freshness and rosewater in my mouth, like eating solid pink bubbles. I am thinking what we will have for dinner tonight and how my teeth are starting to hurt from all that sugar in the turkish pink sugar bombs.
Oh well, I took Joaquin today to a family day care center near the university. The lady or carer was really nice, from the UK and has a 2 year old son with a welsh name. On Monday she cares for another little boy who is nearly 3 and soon will be off to preschool at the end of the month. There is a garden outside to play in the grass and sun, they do cooking and play games and do interactive activities such as paintings. Makes me feel like a bad mum as I do not do any of these things.
The carer call her J, said Joaquin had beautiful eyes and thought it was weird his eyes were already green, as "green is the color that forms last in eye color" well I did not know that, i did not even know you could tell he had green eyes. Jas and I say he has green or hazel eyes, based on the fact we both have green or hazel eyes.
The carer was also impressed I am still breast feeding J and said they are "pro breastfeeding" there. Which is good, I think.
I did like the atmosphere and "feeling" at J's family day care house and I am really thinking it would be good for Joaquin, but at the same time thinking do I really want someone else to care for my son while I am off at university looking at tiny insey winsey teeth and bones belonging to long dead mammals that are over 20 million years old?
I am not sure, I have to think about this.
After going to "check out" the family day care center I walked over to Uni and had lunch with K who is 20 weeks pregnant and saw the other members of the lab. Joaquin is always friendly and cute, he is shy at first but very placid and smily and loves playing trying to say everyone's names.
By the way it has been 20 min and he has not gone to sleep again, and was just crying and standing up on his cot trying to get the music box to play again. I had to calm him and put him back down in his cot, cover him with the blanket and put the music on again. I pat his tummy and he calms down, and then when I leave he cries. He has been crying the last few days when we put him down, he is starting to understand what bye bye and chau and when we leave him alone means. I am not sure if he is scared or just does not want to sleep.
He stood up by himself today for 5 secs and looked very natural. He will be walking soon I think. He also stood on the mini trampoline at the carer's house and held onto the bars and bent his knees and moved up and down .... jumped. He has never been on a trampoline before but he saw the two other boys on it before hand and wanted a go and just did what they were doing. Very perceptive I think. I love my little munch munch (his nick name the last few months)